In the day and age of social media and easily accessible forms of communication at the press of a button, we may have to constantly fight to reaffirm and set boundaries. People post pictures on social media without consent, friends will text or call in the middle of the night. People will call/text/post with any random thought. There are multiple ways for us to be bombarded with contact and hard to remove ourselves for time for ourselves.
My Social Media Boundaries for example:
No Real Time Tagging. A boundary of mine for social media is that I do not allow someone to post or tag my current location. They can tag me in a picture after the fact, I don’t mind people seeing where I have been but do not like being tagged in a public place while I am there. (As I have had stalkers in the past this is a hard limit for me. I have told my friends this and to reaffirm this boundary, I will un-tag myself from things, reiterate the statement of what my boundary is when I see friends posting to social media while out, and I also have perimeters set on some platforms such as Facebook that I must approve all tags before being posted to my social media stream.)
Limit who sees what. I also have certain perimeters set on some platforms that only certain people can see certain posts. Such as I limit some people who I was close enough to add on my feed but do not know in a personal capacity from seeing my location or pictures I’ve been tagged in. I also limit what I post that is personal to me. (Such as I very rarely post about politics or religion on my feeds because I only wish to discuss that with people I am very close.)
Keep work and personal life separate. THIS IS A BIG ONE FOR ME. Though I am friends with some co-workers and people who come into my work, I make sure that there is a clear divide between my personal life and my work life by having a “work profile” and my personal profile. Same goes for my blog, I may post some of my blog posts on my personal Instagram or Facebook feed but I won’t post what I consider personal information or my current exact location on “You Got This Blog” Facebook or Instagram feeds. And unless directed to do so for work on my work profile I do not post any pictures that take place at work.
Late night ghosting. In the late evening (read: bedtime & trying to wind down) or when I am feeling anxiety (read: need no communication but scrolling to keep my mind from going everywhere) I will check off the “see when I am online” feature during these times so no one is tempted to send a message just because they see I may be on that app or device.
Limited Pop-ups/alerts. I have notifications turned off for most of my apps so I am not bombarded in my personal time. (I do my best to not let my phone dictate my time.)
Bedtime Muted calls & texts. At night when it’s time for bed, I mute all calls except for a few people who are essential to alert me of any emergency and of course my husband just in case. All of the people allowed are people who would never abuse this power to contact me in the dead of night and are the people I get the majority of my most pertinent information. (Also, the majority of the people who have my phone number are respectful enough not to call in the dead of night unless it’s an emergency.)
Social Media for Others mini-PSA:
For many within my age bracket and those younger than me these are perimeters that do not apply. They don’t mind people seeing where they are at any given time, allow everyone to see any thoughts/ideas/pictures they may post, and/or have no problem mixing their work persona and personal life. However, for those that may care but it didn’t occur to them that they could set these boundaries… well you can! In fact, this could be just the nature of growing up with technology in the way people have and not realizing they can set this boundaries. Some say that since we are being filmed by street cameras and “big brother” anyway there’s no point to stopping social media… to which I say at least for myself, I can still choose what I post and my friends post about me and that I personally did not choose a life in the spotlight such as an actor or politician where people want to keep track of my personal business. This isn’t an issue of “what do you have to hide” but needing to have intimate parts of myself that I carefully select who sees.
SOOOOOOO… if you are someone who annoyed about why non personal people are all in your personal business, it’s up to you to set those boundaries. Yes it’s allowed. Yes you can unfollow, block, “snooze”, unfriend, make private, limit… they have these features so you can use them. If you don’t want to be in the public eye in this way you don’t have to be or if you are someone that is in the public eye, you have control over what you post and put out there.
YOU GOT THIS!