What’s a Past Self PSA, see my post: “What is a PAST SELF PSA?”
In this post: is how parenthood isn’t for everyone and you can opt in or opt out (but remember, you can’t opt out once you’ve opted in)…
Having Children in today’s society in the United States, is a choice. You don’t HAVE TO have them.
American society in this day and age tends to tell women they must have it all to be a whole woman. A career and children… and I want to say, depending on your financial situation and your relationship situations… well those are choices. If you want to be a stay at home mom and it’s logistical for you do so, then do it!
However, know that there is no life script that you have to follow that says you have to have children. In a future posts I intend to talk about childfree resources and choosing to not have children. But at this time I just want you to know that children are an option and you aren’t a weirdo for not wanting them, or a weirdo for wanting them. We all have different callings.
Kids are an option, and it is totally an option NOT TO HAVE THEM, and it’s okay no matter what people may tell you.
Now remember, parenthood is NOT something you can just “try out” you cannot return your child and say “nay, this wasn’t for me” so when you opt in, YOU ARE IN, so don’t have them just to see what it will be like, or because everyone else is saying you should or whatever. If the thought of being a parent feels wrong to you, then you probably shouldn’t be a parent… no matter what people say to you or think about that decision.
Many people will want you to fulfill the life script for a multitude of reasons. (One of these reasons, is that some people didn’t realize they had an option to “opt out” and hold it against the people that realized they could opt out… because now they can’t opt out. Some people are just judgmental… no matter what they are not you and not looking it from your perspective they are looking at from old societal standards or their personal situation or a combination of those two.) SO, no matter what it’s your life, they aren’t raising those kids, they aren’t doing your job, you got to live your life for you.
So many people will probably say “but you have to” and when you ask why if they say “it’s always been that way”…. Well life changes/society changes. Don’t do it because people say you have to, but if it’s your calling then of course do it! Remember we are not conditioned monkeys, and only you can lead your life.
You don’t have to feel weird if you never wanted kids. I was told I was a monster, a weirdo, and a lot of other things for being so damn sure that I didn’t want kids from a young age… and despite that deep set knowledge I still researched and thought hard about my choice… a choice often question but more thought out than those blindly opting in. See, I always knew that even if I was ostracized from society that having my own kids was not my calling (I am proud to be Aunt to my sibling’s and friend’s children, it has nothing to do with hate, but knowing who I am and that children are not for me) … know that if you feel no desire, and cannot picture yourself as a parent… then you don’t have to be one!
In Summary: Parenthood is no joke, it’s serious business, and I respect those who make that choice, but the childfree have every right to have their choices respected as well.
No matter your choice, remember YOU GOT THIS!